My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. He wanted his quarter back. 2. Sorry, I'm still working on it. Tap To Copy. What do you call a fish with no eyes? } There were two goldfish in a tank. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Call and tell her about it. Mississippi. 1. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . 10. See you next month. You might enjoy: 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument. Privacy Policy. I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. Re-Morse code. Pilgrims. Your mind might want to dance, but your body is a really awkward white guy. 1Forrest1. 2. "Make me one with everything." 2. We've even broken things down by category so that you know which jokes will land best among your audience. same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#h Why arent koalas actual bears? Why did the student eat his homework? What do you call it when Batman skips church? Where do young trees go to learn? Where are average things manufactured? Be careful to whom you send these. Example of When did I ask? What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. What did the alien say to the flower bed? Her navel. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". Owls always look like they just saw a penis for the first time. While the forgetfulness could be funny on its own, no one wants to suffer through the embarrassment of messing up a good joke, especially if its one of the, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), why did the chicken cross the road? jokes, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Must be none of your business then. A maybe. I had to put my foot down. 11. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Is it in?. Theres nothing worse than someone asking you a question and then responding with, who asked you?. No, the punchline comes before the setup when time travel is involved. What are the alternatives for "I was going to ask you"? Remains to be seen. 4. } * You don't want my opinion? A penguin in the washing machine. Because 7-8-9. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. 3 Easy Ways to Find it, How to Manifest Good Luck in 5 Simple Steps. Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Earbuds. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. Here's a list of 55 . She wanted it in case she had to draw blood. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Usually, they know they didnt. 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". Here are some dark jokes to check out if you have a morbid sense of humor. 9. With more than 130 jokes to scroll through, the laughs are guaranteed! Robin. Aye matey. This one works because it both acknowledges that you werent asked and draws focus to the fact that you actually did contribute helpful information to the conversation. Dont forget to bookmark these other whats the difference between jokes that will crack you up. 69 with three people watching. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. jokes just never get old well, almost never! What did the clock do when it was peckish? Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny? 125 best Dad jokes 2020: cringeworthy, funny and downright bad jokes Why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own? The 55 funniest things to ask Alexa CNET - CNET You're not completely useless. Id never advise you to be rude, but I understand why some people are frustrated. I decided to start smoking only after sex. 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your faceonce you shove them down the stairs, that is. Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. A nervous wreck. "Between you and me, something smells.". My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. (Its three.). How do you stop a bull from charging? Do you want to hear a construction joke? Check out these funny one-liners that will give you the biggest laughs from the fewest words. What you can ask Google Assistant - Google Assistant Help A horse walks into a bar. Explanation: A rhetorical question is one thats asked in order to make a point but doesnt require an answer. Why do vegans give better head? Whos there? Who asked? - Copypasta 80+ Best Dad Jokes To Make You Laugh - PsyCat Games That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. 29. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". You mustve misheard me. Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus. Its important to remember that not everyone wants to engage in constructive dialogue, and sometimes the best course of action is to ignore the comment and move on. This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk. Well, if this is what they ask, here are some examples of witty comebacks you can use: "You've got very short hair, are you a lesbian?". ", What did the swordfish say to the marlin? Original don't care + didn't ask. Person 1: Knock-knock. Ivana fuck your brains out. "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up. What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. Why was six afraid of seven? Apple Jokes. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? What did one pencil say to the other pencil? Because they are so lavable. You planet. My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. Catch up! Here are some witty comebacks to Did I ask?: The best response to did I ask is to remain calm and try not to overreact. A crane! 100 Best Corny Jokes Ever - Ponly We recommend our users to update the browser. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? if you were actually the one being rude and butted into a conversation you were not a part of, a clever or funny response is not appropriate and it would be best to say nothing and simply step away. 9. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. It is used in two parts, (when) which is used when some tells you something irrelevant, then when they continue you say did i ask? Their comments didn't hurt me physically, but they did make me sad.Bullying is a common problem . Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. What is red and smells like blue paint? Knock Knock! What do you call a lazy kangaroo? It was two tired. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BriannaPlayz: Escaping 100 Layers of ICE vs Crayons! Last Updated: June 16th 2022. Just another reason to moan, really. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? Once. messedupcole18 3 yr. ago. Hey! Lawyer Jokes That Are Criminally Hilarious | Reader's Digest Canada If someone ever asks you who asked you, have one of these good comebacks for who asked ready to roll. short for? If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. } else { Whats a adult actress favorite drink? In cases like this, we need some clever comebacks to put them in their place. and our We've been graced with our fair share of "dad" jokes, so-bad-they're-good puns, knock-knock jokes, and even some moments of pure stand-up comedy. The German replies, "Nein, just one.". A Mississippi. What do a penis and a Rubiks Cubes have in common? Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. 48. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player. Because they're really good at it. Masturbation is like procrastinationits all good fun until you realize youre just fucking yourself. If you dont like what I have to say, you are free to walk away or share your own story. 21. When did I ask. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. If you buy from a link, we may earn a commission. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. What's Forrest Gump's email password? 30. Did you hear the rumor about butter? 1. Reporter: Excuse me, may I interview you?. What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones? Dinner's on me. A cancer-causing ingredient sparked the alarm, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). There are twenty of them. Girl: Hey, whats up? Boy: If I tell you, will you sit on it?. If sex is a pain in the ass, then youre doing it wrong . Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. Explanation: Once he hits zero in the countdown, its all negative numbers from there. Not all men are annoying. These classic What did.? If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? You guys didn't like it. Whats long, hard and erects stuff? What washes up on very small beaches? Why don't sharks eat clowns? Wheeeee! Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! Whats another name for a vagina? Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Robin who? 45 of Ricky Gervais' most controversial jokes and one - iNews.co.uk Funny Cortana Commands, Questions, Jokes, Replies - Video - Smart Living Because it's not good to drink and derive. Fuck you said. A chipmunk. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Why did the pony have to gargle? After all, roses may be red, violets may be blue, but one thing's for surewe've got the all-time greatest Valentine's jokes for you! Same middle name. I decided to compile a list of comebacks for who asked, did I ask, and nobody asked or cares because its getting ridiculous out there. What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? list jokes 'poker-jokes-that-are-sure-to-crack-even-the-toughest-poker Sometimes its just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly. Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? 1. What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other? When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? Discover when did i ask jokes 's popular videos | TikTok Watch popular content from the following creators: jordan(@jjnthatsspam), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), jamal(@jamallxoxo) . You planet. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? Why do oranges wear sunscreen? I'm a helicopter! Have you ever started to tell a joke only to forget the punchline halfway through? Why does bread take so long to digest? What did one say to the other? Because the queen reigned there for decades. A limbo champ walks into a bar. What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? Its the people I tell them to who cant. Person . Joke has 83.83 % from 129 votes. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? You would not use any of these if you werent: Well, these joke are silly, but still funny: Jokes about sex are eternal. Why did the chicken cross the road? Read on for 39 riddle jokes that'll entertain the whole family.